Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
