The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
