he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
How naked do you want me to be?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
