I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
