that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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