Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
