I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
