Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
