If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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