was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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