Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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