This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
