you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize