you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
