Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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