why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Randomize