me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Your cock deserves a montage
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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