actually, I'm a sock model
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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