i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
