fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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