Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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