Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
