Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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