oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
