Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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