I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
