you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
