I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I FOUND THE LEGS
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
