Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
