Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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