We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
sarcasm needs its own font
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
