Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
this hospital has no fireball
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize