Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize