There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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