i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
