R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
