dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
