careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
