Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
