You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
