Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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