laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
