Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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