Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
