i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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