yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I got her a Nickelback box set.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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