you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize