So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
