if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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