you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
