True but thats because hes a fetus.
he thought i was a dude.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
