Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
