So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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