So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
