just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
