Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
