awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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