I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is Oprah even human
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
