So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
